[this is the post-in-progress. this has been lying in drafts for a long time because I could not find a suitable way to end this post or perhaps this does not have an end yet.]
It’s been a little more than two and a half years. The campus has gone through a makeshift. The library has been like a second home(not that it was not earlier). The campus is so peaceful, so quiet on a Sunday. I am sitting in the library and it’s so calm, so serene – the sun rays streaming through the windows, gentling landing on the empty tables and chairs and providing natural warmth to the ambiance; a trail of rays of sun with glowing specks of dust; the books, sleeping in their racks and waiting to be flipped over.
You bump into the odd one or two students loitering around. What are you doing on campus? I ask. It’s either the Analytical Marketing assignment, or the exams on Sunday for them, giving them hardly any time to travel, so they stuck around.
On the one hand is an unbelievable sense of relief at the thought of never having to read four articles on agency theory all saying the same thing and cross-referencing each other to boot. None of us really needed this all-nighter to be perfectly honest.
Night before the last exam:
Shrouded in its hackneyed everyday-ness, it reminds me of everything and everyone I’m going to miss come next week/year. There’s a heavy cloak of silence no-one is willing to breach. Maybe we’re all thinking the same thoughts. Then again, maybe not. Either way, the solitude is appreciated.
All pretence at academic endeavor given up, I tune out.
The speedball high is long gone by now and for the first time in my life I have this desperate wish that there’d be infinitely many more exams to trap me and these last few hours for all time. By the time I snap it’s nearly 6 in the morning and I’ve been listening to Maa for almost two hours. Time to start the final run-up to the final exam. Total downer.
A new term begins today. And I am not in a rush to make it for classes. Still I end up in campus for breakfast and a trail of memories and a sense of incompleteness engulfs me.
Perhaps something more to be accomplished before; much more to be enjoyed, much more to be internalized. Or perhaps, I am fully aware that this type of extended freedom that I am having now(freedom from work, from the mundane outside world) is something that I will never again have until I retire! And so yet again, I vow to myself to enjoy this freedom, one second at a time.
Graduation is like a speedball so said a wise man.